This should make you saw AWWWWW

ESSAY 3: REALIZATIONS (REVELATIONS)

Well, it has been several weeks now that I have been blogging, and I have come to realize that, just like the rest of life, the more I learn about it, the more I realize I have to learn. I have browsed through several other blogs, and I have to say, some of them have been truly insightful, and deep, and very impressive. Some have been much less so, but it has brought me to a new realization. Though I have touted my blog, as a titan among all others, it seems that my Blog is more like a big fish in a small pond, and though I enjoy my Blog, and blogging in general, I do not think that my Blog will ever rise up to the level of these gargantuans, so full of insight, and musings. Alas, I am torn, confused, questioning the place of my Blog in the blogoshpere. What is the purpose of my blog? Does my Blog exist simply to exist? Is existing for my own personal amusement and perhaps the amusement of others constitute a valid reason for Blog existance? or should there be something deeper, something to share with the rest of humanity? Perhaps an internet pilgrimage is in order, I am unsure where to begin on my "Blogrilmage," perhaps I will start here, with my own blog, and follow the links, the "Blogrimage or 5,000 links" perhaps that is where the answers lie....but I think I will start tomorrow, I am out of time for today.

Gangly orange kitten

ESSAY 2: THE ART OF BLOGGING

Someone asked me the other day, "How do you manage to make such a good Blog?" and I said, "Oh, you've seen my Blog?." and then they said, "I asked you how do you want your hot dog?" But, if someone did ask me how I manage to make such a good blog this is what I would say to them:

1. Find something to talk about - This could be anything from light bulbs to zoroastrianism. But whatever it is, a post about something, should keep talking about that thing.

2. Take a GOOD picture - find or take a simple picture that goes well with whatever you are talking about. Preferably a picture of whatever you are talking about. Avoid taking random pictures or pictures that are too busy with not subject.

3. Find a creative way to write - take something that has been done before and change it to reflects what you are talking about, like a poem, or a movie. Use a list, use the constitution, make a diorama, t be creative.

4. Be careful about how much you talk about yourself - there is a lined between a something that you did and an egocentric story about what you did. avoid lots of details, use two or three details and talk about their minutae meanings and stuff.

5. Don't be boring - even boring things can be interesting with the right writing. Interesting things can be boring with bad writing. Read your entries twice to make sure they don't suck.

There are some other things that are important to the "Art de la Blog" as well, but we will save those for a later essay. In summary, Be creative, Use your head, and don't suck. Good Luck, and Good Blogging!

Stayed up too late doing a last minute research paper.

Haiku 002

I wish to Blog more,
but I do not have the time.
This makes me so sad

A sleeping kitten

ESSAY 1: WHY MY BLOG IS SUPERIOR

My Blog is superior to other Blogs in many ways. The fact is that my blog is not so much superior, as other blogs are inferior to it. There are reasons why inferiority happens to most other blogs, of which I will discuss in detail. Please keep in mind that I am not surmising that my Blog is the best Blog in the Blogoshpere, but I think it is not merely my own conjecture in estimating it to be in the eighty-seventh percentile.
The foremost error many bloggers make while blogging is that they assume that:

1. they have some kind of philosophy or viewpoint that is different/better than everyone elses.

2. People are actually going to want to read about the mundane things they do every day... e.g. "today I woke up, then I fed the dog. I had eggs for Breakfast and went to work, then I came home and watched CSI and now I am blogging."

3. people are going to want to read about all the poor sad things that are happening to them. e.g. "Today I got mud on my new Gucci bag, this is the worst day evar :("

On my Blog, you will not see any of these occurances taking place (pnock on kwood). My blog is designed to give the reader tid-bits of my view of the world, not that that view is anything spectaulous, or fantasmic, but it is funny. My blog lives on in the hearts of it's readers as exemplified by the quote "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you'll have to do it by yourself in a closet, because most people don't want to cry with you"
In conclusion, my blog has staying power, and is enjoyed by all five of it's readers. It is also worth a thousand dollars in internet money. And it is funny, that is, I think it is humerus, and that is what counts.